Bonjour. Hola. Hello. I’m Clara.
Yes, all three greetings are necessary. I never know what language I’m meant to be using anymore.
Let me explain.
I’m a half-English, half-French woman of undisclosed age (fine, I’m 46, but it’s a youthful 46) who accidentally moved to Spain three years ago. I say “accidentally” because I came to sort out a crumbling townhouse I inherited from my late great-aunt Margaux (who, in life, had all the warmth of a garden rake), and somehow I forgot to leave.
There were reasons.
The British weather. The ex-husband. The plumbing in my flat in Streatham. Also, the local olives here are so good I suspect they’re mildly narcotic.
So now I live in Lladó, a Catalan village where:
- The postman doubles as the town DJ,
- The mayor is also a goat farmer, and
- My neighbours think “Morel-Templeton” is the name of a mushroom.
I used to teach French in London. Now I teach French and English and occasionally Catalan to confused retirees via Zoom, when my internet connection isn’t being throttled by next door’s weather station. My current hobbies include:
- Talking to the ceiling fan during heatwaves,
- Pretending to understand municipal paperwork,
- And developing what can only be described as an emotionally complex relationship with the man who sells honey at the weekly market.
Why the Blog?
Ah. Yes. The blog.
Well, I originally started this to keep track of renovation expenses. That lasted one post.
Then I thought I’d write something elegant about “embracing Mediterranean simplicity.” That also lasted one post. I do not, it turns out, embrace simplicity. I wrestle it violently.
Eventually, French Links became a sort of therapy. A space to laugh at my linguistic blunders, marvel at regional cheese variants, and reflect on the absurdity of life when you’re culturally misaligned in four directions.
I’m not here to teach you how to be an expat.
I’m here to document what happens when you think your bilingualism makes you clever, only to discover you’ve accidentally insulted someone’s grandmother in Catalan.
This is a blog for:
- Anyone who’s ever moved countries with too many books and not enough common sense.
- Anyone who’s ever fallen for a beekeeper called Miquel who may or may not be ignoring you.
- Anyone who’s ever Googled “Can you use Comté in paella?” and found only pain.
So. That’s me.
I’m Clara.
Still here. Still writing. Still wondering how a woman who used to wear heels to teach subjunctive clauses now spends her days in flip-flops yelling at a jamón slicer.
Welcome to French Links.
You’ll laugh. You’ll wince. You’ll probably learn a few phrases you should never use in public.
Pass the wine. I think we’re going to get on just fine.